Over and Over Again Repeated to Myself
Accept yous ever wondered why people go along repeating the aforementioned thing in conversations over and over? If you lot're annihilation similar me, y'all tin't ignore the content of conversations because you know that language can be a window to the mind.
People repeat what they say for a number of reasons in a variety of contexts. I'm only concerned here with those instances where what they say over and over tin can provide clues to their psychological makeup.
Offset off, I want to be articulate as to what specific instances I'm talking about. I'm not talking about instances where a person repeats something in a conversation considering they feel they've non been heard- a person repeating their point in a debate, for example.
I'1000 as well not talking most instances where it's obvious why the person is repeating themselves. An example would be a child repeatedly asking for candy when her mother clearly has no intention of giving ane.
The incidences I'm talking well-nigh are the ones where you lot observe that someone tells others the aforementioned matter that they've told yous. Information technology's commonly a story of an incident that happened to them.
At present my question is: Why would they, of all topics, keep saying the aforementioned matter to the people they meet?
Before we delve into the possible reasons, I'd similar to narrate an incident from my own life:
I and a few classmates were working on a group project in the last semester of my undergrad. We had two assessments for the project piece of work- minor and major. During the pocket-sized assessment, our professor pointed out a shortcoming in our projection work.
It'southward natural to feel bad (no matter how slightly) when you experience something like this. But what I noticed was that non all of us in the group were affected in the same manner past that remark.
While most of us forgot about it soon after, there was this one daughter in our group who was clearly more affected by it than the residue of us. How do I know that?
Well, afterward that incident she kept repeating what the professor had said to almost everyone she talked to, at least in my presence. So much so that she even pointed information technology out in our major assessment despite my warning of not revealing anything that may undermine our assessment.
This intrigued and frustrated me. I confronted her and said, rather angrily, "Why do you keep mentioning it to everyone? Why is it such a big deal to you?"
She didn't have an answer. She savage silent. Since then, I've noticed many people, including myself, engage in the exact same behaviour.
The heed is always trying to brand sense of things
If someone tells you that your friend died in an blow and gives you a detailed description of what happened, y'all're unlikely to ask whatever more questions. You lot may immediately skid into a state of stupor, disbelief, or even sadness.
Consider what would happen if they only told that you that your friend died without telling you why or how. Y'all'd desperately ask the same questions over and over till your mind makes sense of the incident (with the help of relevant answers).
This example is pretty straightforward where you're repeatedly asking questions to go answers. But why would someone repeat something that is non necessarily a question?
Again, the answer is the same. Their mind is trying to make sense of what happened. The result is unresolved in their mind. By repeating the same thing over and over, they desire to resolve information technology and exercise away with information technology.
Many things that we run into on a daily ground get easily resolved (I cruel because I slipped, he laughed because I said something funny, etc.). But some things are non so easily resolved and exit deep impressions on us.
Consequently, our minds get stuck in this loop of trying to brand sense of them because they haven't fabricated full sense to us yet.
By traumas and repeating the same things
A person who has had a traumatic feel in the past may go along acting out these traumas in their dreams. Only by talking nigh the trauma repeatedly, trying to brand sense of it, tin can they hope to terminate these dreams.
When we hear the discussion trauma we tend to recall of some major unfortunate incident. But trauma also comes in other, minor forms. That remark our professor made was traumatic for the girl who went on to tell everyone about information technology.
When people become shut to each other in relationships, they often talk about their bad past and childhood experiences. They may not overly express how those experiences traumatized them. They may effort to portray the instances as entertaining or interesting. But the fact that they're repeating these stories is a potent indication of trauma.
Side by side time your friend says, "Take I told you lot this before?" say "No" even if they have, just to get a better agreement of their psychology.
Justifying yourself and repeating the same things
Often, the bad experiences a person is trying to make sense of, by talking nearly them repeatedly, involve self-blame. On a deep level, the person thinks that they're somehow responsible for what happened to them. Or at least, they had a office in it or could accept avoided it somehow.
So when they are telling their story it's probable that they'll try to justify themselves. In doing and then, they may even distort the story and narrate it in such a style that clears them of whatsoever blame and showcases them as victims.
Why practice they exercise this?
We're always trying to projection a practiced paradigm of ourselves to our fellow humans, peculiarly those who matter to us. If there'due south something in our contempo or distant past that has the potential to degrade our image, nosotros make certain that they know we're not to blame.
This paradoxical situation of get-go blaming oneself so trying to vindicate oneself usually happens on an unconscious level. So information technology'south no wonder that people keep repeating this behaviour without stopping to self-reflect.
Information technology's important to think that these instances that people repeatedly talk virtually may not necessarily exist traumatic. Information technology could be anything they oasis't notwithstanding made full sense of.
When that daughter in our project grouping repeated the professor's remark, it didn't traumatize me but it left an impression still. At the time, I wasn't able to brand sense of it.
Therefore, my listen kept replaying the incident over and over and I might also have told the same story to others over and over but I didn't.
Lucky for them, I'm often self-reflective enough not to appoint in behaviours that may reveal my psychology. So I spared them the boredom. I've finally told the story and attempted to make sense of it via this commodity.
Hi, I'm Hanan Parvez (MBA, MA Psychology), founder and writer of PsychMechanics. I've published one volume and authored 400+ articles on this blog (started in 2014) that have garnered over 4.5 million views. PsychMechanics has been featured in Forbes, Business Insider, Reader's Digest, and Entrepreneur. Experience costless to contact me if you have a query.
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Source: https://www.psychmechanics.com/why-people-keep-repeating-same-thing/
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